Rethinking Drugs & Alcohol

Drugs & Alcohol: The Story of Ricardo

Ricardo was a tenth-grade student who had always maintained passable grades. He had a few fairly solid friendships and had a pretty active social life on the weekends. The average Friday night in autumn usually involved going to the high school football game with several of his friends. His friend Thomas had already acquired one the most coveted of all the high school trophies, a driver’s license, which enabled Ricardo and his circle to be much more mobile.

When the football game was over, a number of other socially active students in school would find a place to “hang” and party. Ricardo, Thomas, and the others would usually join them at another student’s house (if the parents were out of town) or in a secluded spot in the woods nearby the football stadium. Alcohol was prevalent at these party locations, usually supplied by someone’s older sibling. Drugs could also be found among several of the groups that joined the revelry. It was not uncommon for these carousals to last until one or two in the morning or until the beer had been entirely consumed.

Ricardo’s parents had always been clear about their position on underage drinking and drug use. It was unacceptable in their family. Ricardo’s older sister Maria had managed to successfully steer her way through high school without getting involved in either drugs or alcohol. So far, Ricardo had not partaken in the consumption of alcohol or of illegal drugs, either, but he did attend the after-game parties. He knew that his parents would disapprove of his involvement in activities such as these, even though he remained clean and sober. This often led him to lie to his parents about his postgame whereabouts. He felt guilty, but what could he do?

To say that he was never tempted to drink a beer or do a shot of vodka would be untrue. His friends, including Thomas, would all drink and party pretty heavily, although they usually respected Ricardo’s choice not to partake. Ricardo would try to mingle with the others at the party, but without a drink in his hand he felt awkward and socially “out.” It seemed that those who were drinking had a wonderful excuse to go up to a nice-looking guy or girl and strike up a conversation. They could do the things they really wanted to do all along—and then have an excuse if it didn’t turn out well the next morning. Those who were stoned were able to talk about their current highs and past highs with great ease, as they sat around in a circle listening to the latest emo band. Ricardo was there at the scene of the party, but on another level, he felt that he was not really a part of the action.

As he and his friends waited for Thomas to sober up so he could drive them home, Ricardo thought long and hard about giving in and having a beer. How bad could it be, anyway? It was just one beer offered to him in a friendly gesture by a guy he had never met. Ricardo’s friends watched closely, as he didn’t say no right away as he always had before. He felt like the cartoon character that had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel reminded him, “If you do this, the respect that your friends have for your previous decision to be drug and alcohol free will evaporate. Flee from this temptation! Hold tightly to your integrity!” To that the devil sang alluringly in retort, “They never respected you anyway! Do this and you will have true camaraderie! Do you see the others who hold their cans, bottles, and cups—how they laugh and carry on and live life to the full? That could be you if only you would drink and be full.”

Ricardo drank his first beer that mild October night. To say that his life took a downhill turn from that moment on would be untrue. As the devil on his shoulder predicted, he laughed and socialized with the people around him. To the casual observer, this was nothing more than a typical weekend night at an average high school gathering, but Ricardo sacrificed some important strategic ground that night. From that point on, the devil or Siren on his shoulder had an established beachhead from which to further compromise Ricardo’s integrity.

The Real Danger.
What perils lie in succumbing to the temptation to drink alcohol or use drugs? More than most adolescents can possibly foresee. Simply observe the lives that have been ruined by substance abuse. Driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol leads to a multitude of teenage deaths each year. Yet despite the statistics and warnings, many students continue to engage in this hazardous behavior.

Drug addiction and alcoholism are on the rise. Those who are in recovery typically declare that their involvement with substance abuse began during their adolescent years. Countless problems arise from chemical dependency, including criminal behavior, an increased mortality rate, divorce, and loss of interest in life. Patterns of substance abuse can also be passed down to subsequent generations.

Some may suggest that to bring up this endless array of pitfalls after discussing Ricardo and his first beer may seem a little extreme. After all, he was a good kid and he only had one beer. But ask those for whom life has been laid waste by the scourge of drugs and alcohol, How did it start? It started with just one beer and led to alcoholism. It started with only one joint and led to harder drugs and addiction.

The little decisions that compromise our integrity as human beings can lead to devastating consequences farther down the road. Chemicals cloud the real person and bury the desire for abundant life in a murky pit of despair and confusion. Ricardo and others might not wind up in a drunk-driving accident or addicted to drugs, but understanding how precious life is, can we afford to take this gamble?

The Real Desire.
What strong desire does the temptation to engage in drinking and drug use play upon? What do Ricardo and millions of young people like him hope to find by turning to chemicals? That is where we must start to uncover the root of the temptation. Like everyone else, adolescents want to feel good. More teens than can be counted, however, do not feel good. Some are depressed, and the euphoria of the buzz or the high allows them to forget their depression momentarily. Others are hurting on the inside from soul-wounds received at the hands of a parent or a friend. They don’t want to feel this pain any more. They want to feel better, so like the Homeric Lotus-eaters, they self-medicate. The desire to feel good is common to all of humanity, but can be easily misdirected by the Siren of drugs and alcohol.

Chemicals are also able to tempt by inflaming the desire in adolescents to have companionship. Believe it or not, it seems easier for young people to strike up a conversation with someone if they are holding a drink than if they are not. Why? The drink enables them to avoid the risk of revealing who they really are. People often feel that they can only be themselves when they are drinking, and that is a sad situation. The reason is that the drink gives them something to hide behind.

If a student unveils his real likes and authentic personality when he is drinking, it allows him a way out if he perceives that others did not approve. He can always fall back and say that it was the alcohol that “made him do it.” It takes a lot more courage to be yourself when you have no excuses available if people do not like who you really are. Every time you behind a drink or a joint, it makes it more difficult to be yourself without using a chemical. Students, like everybody else, have a strong desire to be known.

Rethinking Intervention II

If a young person you care about becomes involved in a behavior that will ultimately lead to destruction, it would be wise to conduct an intervention. You have the very important opportunity to intercede for the adolescents in your sphere of influence, just as Odysseus stepped into the lives of his crew. What is an intervention? When a person is addicted to their lotus of choice, the other people in her life—siblings, parents, and friends—may be experiencing a wide range of feelings, including anger, guilt, betrayal, fear, or frustration. Maybe things have been tried in the past and have failed. The situation can be chaotic. The goal of an intervention is to focus the siblings, friends, and family into a cohesive group that can introduce change into the destructive cycle of dependence. Most of us can remember when something said or done by someone who was important to us changed our way of thinking and perhaps saved us from a ruinous situation.

The group must have a leader—an Odysseus, so to speak. The leader must make sure that the group has been familiarized with the dysfunction at hand. If the problem is an addiction, treatment options should be investigated. The intervention group should meet prior to the actual intervention for purposes of preparation. What is going to be said to the individual? Who should be involved? Treatment should be arranged ahead of time.

When the time comes for the actual intervention, the leader’s job is to establish a sense of order in the process. Each person in the group gets an opportunity to speak to the person involved and let her know how much she means and how much she is loved. The individual needs to know that her behavior affects everyone in the room and that the problem is no longer hidden. Since treatment has already been arranged, there is no room for debate. Keep the tone loving and full of respect, but be resolute. The person may break down and cry. Perhaps she will become angry. Whatever the reaction, be firm. For the individual and for the group, the problem must be resolved and not allowed to continue.

Interventions of this kind may vary and don’t necessarily hold to a strict set of rules. Sometimes a simple intervention is best, maybe addressing a situation that hasn’t been previously acknowledged or asking a person to stop a behavior that is doing them harm or draining their life energy away. A simple intervention in an addiction to busyness can include requiring a student who is overextended to reduce the number of activities in which they are involved. For a teen that is lost in a fog of video games, television, or the Internet, it may mean taking away the game system, disconnecting the Internet, or removing the television from the bedroom. Regardless of the situation, it is highly recommended that you seek out the advice of a counselor or intervention professional for your particular situation.

Rethinking Intervention

How did Odysseus save his crew from the intoxicating effects of the lotus fruit? What were his options? Did he try to reason with them? Maybe if he had tried to discuss their perilous situation, they would have listened to reason and returned to their ships on their own. What if he attempted to console them? Possibly if he had had pity on his crew and empathized with their situation, they would have been overcome by his understanding and compassion and given up the addictive high of the lotus. Perhaps he might have chosen to feel sorry for them and for the pain that they had endured from their years of battle at Troy and their hazardous journey at sea. The fog of Morpheus could be viewed as merciful, numbing painful memories of the past. If Odysseus had decided to travel any of these roads, he would have ended up enabling the sailors in their own act of self-destruction and ruining any hope he had of ever seeing Ithaca again.

The heroic Odysseus chose a much more intimidating path, a way that would place him in a position of appearing to be the very evil from which he was trying to rescue his men. One by one, the good king dragged his sailors back to the ship against their will. The ship represents a way to freedom, the very thing for which the men were longing. The crew, dizzy from the effects of the lotus, spat and fought against the very person that was carrying them to freedom.

When someone is using a crutch—whether video games, busyness, the Internet, television, chemicals, or anything else—to anesthetize the wounds of their heart, they will resist (sometimes violently) any attempts at distancing them from their particular lotus fruit. Once the lotus fruit is removed, they will find the particular pain they were anesthetizing will usually rise to the surface. But this allows both adult and adolescent to better comprehend the source of the wound and to explore the possibility of healing. If you are a teacher, counselor, or youth worker, you should attempt to work hand in hand with the parents of the adolescent who is self-medicating, whether literally or figuratively. If you are a parent, you will need the support of other adults in your child’s life.

Rethinking the Lotus V

As ninth-graders go, Terry was a pretty typical kid. He had average grades, average athletic ability, average looks. For the most part, that is how Terry viewed himself: middle of the road, nothing special. His father had died when Terry was in the fifth grade, and the loss was especially difficult for his mother. While his mother increased her already heavy drinking to relieve the pain she was experiencing, Terry muddled his way through middle school. He had been largely unnoticed by his teachers. After all, he wasn’t exceptionally bad, nor was he exceptionally good. He was, well, somewhere in the middle.

If you had asked him what his interests and hobbies were, he probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you much. His heart was in pain, though on the outside it really wasn’t observable. One day, a new student arrived at his lunch table, bearing news of enticing lotus fruit. His name was Gordon, and he was what the teachers and administrators would refer to as a “problem child.” He was open about the fact that he frequently used marijuana and would share stories of being high with the others at the lunch table. Intrigued, Terry began spending more time around Gordon, eventually riding the bus to his house after school one day. It was there that Terry first experimented with pot. He and Gordon began riding their dirt bikes to the middle of the woods. There they would “light up” after school. His mother, in a haze of alcohol, would rarely say anything to Terry about not coming home from school until hours after it had already ended. He would spray down his clothes with deodorant to cover up the scent of the smoke.

For the greater part of his ninth-grade year, Terry would steal money from his mother’s wallet and buy dope from Gordon to satisfy his ever-growing cravings for the drug. This wasn’t his personality. He wasn’t really a thief. But his demeanor changed, he became apathetic toward his schoolwork, and his grades began to plummet. He cared little about his future and his life, for thought of getting high consumed his thoughts.

The parallel between the mythical lotus and substance abuse is a fairly easy one to draw. When Terry was high, the fact that he was average didn’t matter. The fact that his father was dead didn’t matter. The fact that his mother was an alcoholic didn’t matter. When he was high, the marijuana whispered softly that all was right in the world and that he didn’t need to worry about his cares. The wounds of his heart were still throbbing, but he was, in the words of Pink Floyd, “comfortably numb.”

Rethinking the Lotus II

Barry was a high school senior who was well liked by his parents, peers, and teachers. He was a solid basketball player and had already been accepted at George Washington University. His life did have its challenges, however. His father, who was respected in the community, had spent precious little time with Barry as he was growing up. He had come up with any number of excuses throughout the years as to why he was unable to take Barry camping or even play catch in the backyard. Intellectually, Barry had grown to accept this lack of interaction as normal, but his heart refused to go along. Something was missing in all of this.

After basketball practice, Barry would typically go to his room and surf the Internet for hours. He was drawn to the possibilities that the Web offered the endless array of information and stimulation. Often, he would log in to the instant messenger and communicate for hours, sharing intimate details with complete strangers. Here was intimacy without strings attached. Frequently, Barry would search through a variety of Web sites, finding more “eye candy” than the mind could fathom. He began going to sleep later and later at night, as his online activities began to absorb more and more of his time. His basketball coach noticed that he seemed increasingly lethargic on the court, and his grades began to drop. The cyber-lotus fruit of the Internet had done its work well. Barry had numbed the pain of his missing years with his father, and he was now lost in a fog of chat rooms and virtual worlds.