Rethinking Intervention II

If a young person you care about becomes involved in a behavior that will ultimately lead to destruction, it would be wise to conduct an intervention. You have the very important opportunity to intercede for the adolescents in your sphere of influence, just as Odysseus stepped into the lives of his crew. What is an intervention? When a person is addicted to their lotus of choice, the other people in her life—siblings, parents, and friends—may be experiencing a wide range of feelings, including anger, guilt, betrayal, fear, or frustration. Maybe things have been tried in the past and have failed. The situation can be chaotic. The goal of an intervention is to focus the siblings, friends, and family into a cohesive group that can introduce change into the destructive cycle of dependence. Most of us can remember when something said or done by someone who was important to us changed our way of thinking and perhaps saved us from a ruinous situation.

The group must have a leader—an Odysseus, so to speak. The leader must make sure that the group has been familiarized with the dysfunction at hand. If the problem is an addiction, treatment options should be investigated. The intervention group should meet prior to the actual intervention for purposes of preparation. What is going to be said to the individual? Who should be involved? Treatment should be arranged ahead of time.

When the time comes for the actual intervention, the leader’s job is to establish a sense of order in the process. Each person in the group gets an opportunity to speak to the person involved and let her know how much she means and how much she is loved. The individual needs to know that her behavior affects everyone in the room and that the problem is no longer hidden. Since treatment has already been arranged, there is no room for debate. Keep the tone loving and full of respect, but be resolute. The person may break down and cry. Perhaps she will become angry. Whatever the reaction, be firm. For the individual and for the group, the problem must be resolved and not allowed to continue.

Interventions of this kind may vary and don’t necessarily hold to a strict set of rules. Sometimes a simple intervention is best, maybe addressing a situation that hasn’t been previously acknowledged or asking a person to stop a behavior that is doing them harm or draining their life energy away. A simple intervention in an addiction to busyness can include requiring a student who is overextended to reduce the number of activities in which they are involved. For a teen that is lost in a fog of video games, television, or the Internet, it may mean taking away the game system, disconnecting the Internet, or removing the television from the bedroom. Regardless of the situation, it is highly recommended that you seek out the advice of a counselor or intervention professional for your particular situation.

Rethinking Intervention

How did Odysseus save his crew from the intoxicating effects of the lotus fruit? What were his options? Did he try to reason with them? Maybe if he had tried to discuss their perilous situation, they would have listened to reason and returned to their ships on their own. What if he attempted to console them? Possibly if he had had pity on his crew and empathized with their situation, they would have been overcome by his understanding and compassion and given up the addictive high of the lotus. Perhaps he might have chosen to feel sorry for them and for the pain that they had endured from their years of battle at Troy and their hazardous journey at sea. The fog of Morpheus could be viewed as merciful, numbing painful memories of the past. If Odysseus had decided to travel any of these roads, he would have ended up enabling the sailors in their own act of self-destruction and ruining any hope he had of ever seeing Ithaca again.

The heroic Odysseus chose a much more intimidating path, a way that would place him in a position of appearing to be the very evil from which he was trying to rescue his men. One by one, the good king dragged his sailors back to the ship against their will. The ship represents a way to freedom, the very thing for which the men were longing. The crew, dizzy from the effects of the lotus, spat and fought against the very person that was carrying them to freedom.

When someone is using a crutch—whether video games, busyness, the Internet, television, chemicals, or anything else—to anesthetize the wounds of their heart, they will resist (sometimes violently) any attempts at distancing them from their particular lotus fruit. Once the lotus fruit is removed, they will find the particular pain they were anesthetizing will usually rise to the surface. But this allows both adult and adolescent to better comprehend the source of the wound and to explore the possibility of healing. If you are a teacher, counselor, or youth worker, you should attempt to work hand in hand with the parents of the adolescent who is self-medicating, whether literally or figuratively. If you are a parent, you will need the support of other adults in your child’s life.

Rethinking the Lotus III

Brittany was a high school sophomore who excelled in school. Her teachers suggested that if she continued at this level of academic performance, she would eventually become valedictorian of her graduating class. She was used to success in the classroom, but when she looked in the mirror each morning, she questioned her reasons for living. You see, Brittany had bought into the lie that deceives so many teenage girls today—the lie that you must look like the women in the fashion magazines to be considered beautiful. As she looked in the mirror, she berated herself for having a nose that seemed too large. She scoffed at her waist and legs as she turned from one side to the next, trying to see herself from all angles.

In school, Brittany walked with an air of timidity and caution, devoid of the self-confidence that attracts others. Consequently, she found that the boys in her classes didn’t seem to pay attention to her at all. This negative cycle only served to reinforce her poor opinion of herself. Her lotus fruit was soon to be discovered, however. She and her friend Diana, who was struggling with similar issues, both happened to catch an episode of a new reality TV show one night. In the cafeteria the next day, Brittany and Diana discussed at length the intricacies of the televised relationships that were forming so rapidly before their very eyes.

Brittany was hooked. She began spending an increasing amount of time in front of the TV screen, watching every reality show she could find. Sometimes she would literally spend hours flipping through the hundreds of channels offered by her satellite service provider, looking for reality programming. Having a television in her room allowed her to stay up very late at night voyeuristically watching the lives of others. Her father began to worry about her when he noticed a drop in her grades at the midterm.

How did television become the lotus fruit for an intelligent but self-conscious high school girl? What did the reality shows offer that could lead Brittany to waste hours of her life in front of a video screen? For her, it was the opportunity to live life through the eyes of someone else. She could have the feeling of taking risks without actually taking them. All of the emotions were there—being excited and nervous on the first date, being angry at a betrayal of trust, and being happy and tearful when a relationship seemed to work out. Brittany didn’t feel confident enough to chance starting up a conversation with someone new, but it was easy to watch others do this very thing on TV.

It is really the same effect that soap operas have had on people for generations now, except that a new dimension of reality has been stirred into the mix, creating an intoxicating blend. While she was watching them, the reality shows helped her to forget, or perhaps we should say "anesthetize," the agony of her own self-perception. Her blank stare into the expanse of the video screen might have mirrored that of the Greek sailors upon their consumption of the narcotic lotus.