Rethinking the Lotus IV

Claire was by all measures a very attractive high school senior. Her long brown hair and striking green eyes turned the heads of all the boys as she walked through the cafeteria each day. She was involved in varsity sports and was the captain of the cheerleading squad. Early in the year, she was elected vice president of the student council.

Because Claire held down an after-school job as a waitress that enabled her to purchase her own car, she was able to drive herself to her various afterschool commitments. Since her mother was actively involved in her own social life, she failed to notice that Claire had less and less time to spare and that her schedule was increasingly tight. After cheerleading practice, Claire would drive herself to the restaurant where she worked, and she would wait tables for more than four hours. Because she was friendly and popular, she found herself accepting leadership positions in the Spanish club and the National Honors Society. If there was an activity, Claire was actively involved in it.

Five years earlier, when Claire was in seventh grade, her mother’s boyfriend, who was living with them at the time, sexually abused her over a period of several weeks. She never told anybody about the incident, and when her mother finally ended the relationship, Claire convinced herself that it was in the past and to be forgotten. Deep down, however, she felt dirty, used, and alone.

What would drive a girl like Claire into unrelenting busyness and activity? How did busyness anesthetize her hurt and sense of shame? What did she get from this endless array of activities? For starters, she derived a sense of belonging, a sense that she wasn’t alone. She was essentially running from her fear of being alone, for she had been alone in the house when horrible things
had happened to her before. A young part of her soul feared that if she were alone, it would happen all over again. She made a vow never to allow herself to be in that situation again, so she surrounded herself with activity and people.

Another lotus-like effect this whirlwind of activity had was to offer her a sense of approval. She loved feeling that others respected her and viewed her as a beautiful person. Who wouldn’t? Those are not bad things in and of themselves, but when they are being used to anesthetize a wound that is festering below the surface, they can lead to greater problems down the road. The good can become the enemy of the best.

Rethinking the Lotus III

Brittany was a high school sophomore who excelled in school. Her teachers suggested that if she continued at this level of academic performance, she would eventually become valedictorian of her graduating class. She was used to success in the classroom, but when she looked in the mirror each morning, she questioned her reasons for living. You see, Brittany had bought into the lie that deceives so many teenage girls today—the lie that you must look like the women in the fashion magazines to be considered beautiful. As she looked in the mirror, she berated herself for having a nose that seemed too large. She scoffed at her waist and legs as she turned from one side to the next, trying to see herself from all angles.

In school, Brittany walked with an air of timidity and caution, devoid of the self-confidence that attracts others. Consequently, she found that the boys in her classes didn’t seem to pay attention to her at all. This negative cycle only served to reinforce her poor opinion of herself. Her lotus fruit was soon to be discovered, however. She and her friend Diana, who was struggling with similar issues, both happened to catch an episode of a new reality TV show one night. In the cafeteria the next day, Brittany and Diana discussed at length the intricacies of the televised relationships that were forming so rapidly before their very eyes.

Brittany was hooked. She began spending an increasing amount of time in front of the TV screen, watching every reality show she could find. Sometimes she would literally spend hours flipping through the hundreds of channels offered by her satellite service provider, looking for reality programming. Having a television in her room allowed her to stay up very late at night voyeuristically watching the lives of others. Her father began to worry about her when he noticed a drop in her grades at the midterm.

How did television become the lotus fruit for an intelligent but self-conscious high school girl? What did the reality shows offer that could lead Brittany to waste hours of her life in front of a video screen? For her, it was the opportunity to live life through the eyes of someone else. She could have the feeling of taking risks without actually taking them. All of the emotions were there—being excited and nervous on the first date, being angry at a betrayal of trust, and being happy and tearful when a relationship seemed to work out. Brittany didn’t feel confident enough to chance starting up a conversation with someone new, but it was easy to watch others do this very thing on TV.

It is really the same effect that soap operas have had on people for generations now, except that a new dimension of reality has been stirred into the mix, creating an intoxicating blend. While she was watching them, the reality shows helped her to forget, or perhaps we should say "anesthetize," the agony of her own self-perception. Her blank stare into the expanse of the video screen might have mirrored that of the Greek sailors upon their consumption of the narcotic lotus.

Rethinking Pain-Killers

Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfillment of animal desires. Alexander Graham Bell

Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. Thomas Fuller

Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the
measure of thy desire. Arab proverb

Like Odysseus and his men, adolescents are suffering from painful experiences and memories that seem to cause an unrelenting soul-ache. Do they use this pain to drive them on to real answers and true healing? Sadly, no. Most young people (and adults, as well) attempt to numb the pain they are experiencing. We will next examine how Odysseus’s soldiers endeavored to anesthetize themselves against the suffering they had experienced.

The Lotus-Eaters

Odysseus and his men sailed across the seas in a vain attempt to reach the only home they had ever known. Cursed by the god Poseidon and weary from war and adventure, a fierce storm blew their ship to an island off the coast of Africa. This island had the reputation of being the “land where Morpheus plays.” Morpheus was the Greek god of dreams, the son of Hypnos, the god of sleep, and the nephew of Hades, the god of death and the underworld.

Upon setting foot ashore this strange country, Odysseus and his men crawled upon the sandy beach and fell into a deep sleep. When they awoke, they met a group of people known as the Lotophagi, or “lotus-eaters.” The Lotophagi lived in a drug-induced haze that was the result of eating the narcotic lotus fruit. The inhabitants of this land had little care for the worries and concerns of mortal men and were apathetic toward life. The islanders brought armfuls of the lotus fruit for the crew of Odysseus’s ship. Hungry and hurting from their terrible experiences in war and at sea, the sailors followed the example of the islanders and ate the narcotic fruit.

According to Bernard Evslin’s version of Homer’s Odyssey entitled The Adventures of Ulysses (1969), Morpheus examined the minds of the Greeks as they slept and found anguished memories of warfare and greed. The dream god soothed their sleep with visions of their wives and families and home. As they awoke, they longed to return to the tranquility of their dreams, so they again partook of the lotus fruit and fell into a deeper sleep still.

Sensing that the gods had destined Odysseus for other ends, Morpheus declined to fill the hero’s sleep with intoxicating visions, instead allowing him to dream as he might. Unlike his men, the Greek king experienced frightful nightmares and relived painful memories in a restless and fitful sleep. Rising, he realized that his men had eaten of the lotus fruit and had fallen into a drowsy bliss. Eager to assuage his agony, Odysseus gathered a handful of the enticing fruit and breathed in the inebriating aroma. He knew at once that if he too ate the sweet fruit, his crew would be doomed to spend their days in lethargy and illusion, rather than finally reaching home and family. In an incredible act of the will, Odysseus arose and dragged his entranced men one by one, kicking and screaming, back to the ship and back to reality to continue on their long voyage back to Ithaca.