Rethinking One's Place in the World

You can never really study people, you can only get to know them.
C. S. Lewis

History is the witness that testifies to the passing of time; it illumines reality, vitalizes memory, provides guidance in daily life and brings us tidings of antiquity.
Cicero

The young people that we work with crave a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves. Politicians, too, have discovered this longing within their young constituents. In a speech delivered during the 2000 presidential election season, Senator John McCain of Arizona urged young people to remember the sacrifices of the past:

They fought for love, for love of an idea—that America stood for something greater than the sum of our individual interests. . . . Cynicism is suffocating the idealism of many Americans, especially among our young. . . . When we quit seeing ourselves as part of something greater than our self-interest then civic love gives way to the temptations of selfishness, bigotry and hate . . .

This call connected with many young voters, and even those who could not yet vote, and energized the campaign. These young people desperately wanted to be a part of something in which they could believe.

Rethinking the Enemy III

Young people today have to decide whether or not they will agree with the voices that eventually lead to despair. If they start agreeing with statements like those, it won’t be long until they find themselves becoming more and more cynical and fatalistic about life in general.

Adolescents often verbalize those statements that they’ve agreed with, declaring that they are “unlucky” or “dumb.” It would be easy to dismiss those sentiments as nothing more than teen angst, but let’s look at what is really happening on a deeper level. For example, if Danielle is spurned by a boy that she really likes, she might be presented with the lie that she is “unlovable” or “unattractive.” If she, in her mind and heart, agrees with this assessment—however absurd—she will begin to behave as if she were unlovable or unattractive. This behavior in turn will invite others to treat her in the same way. In essence, we teach others how to treat us. When Danielle hears these messages from both herself and others around her, she may be tempted to evaluate other situations in her life through the same discouraging lens.

When Ted is cut from the basketball team, he might be exposed to the lie that he “will never amount to anything” or is “a failure.” Believing this lie, he might find himself fearful of trying new things, in an attempt to shield his heart from rejection.

Here we have two young people who have the potential to be great men or women, to live and love, perhaps affecting the lives of countless thousands or even millions. Instead, through the snare of agreeing with the villain in their stories, they find their hearts bound with the chains of cynicism, despair, depression, and fear. They lose, and the world loses. How does one overcome treacherous assaults such as these? No one wants to look at life with that kind of trepidation. So, how do we help young people avoid this pitfall?

Rethinking the Enemy II

When a discouraging situation occurs, there is always a choice to be made. Look at your own life. When something bad transpires, what happens next? A subtle voice speaking in your mind delivers a disparaging message—a fiery dart aimed right at your heart—suggesting:

• “That kind of thing always happens to me!”
• “I’m such an idiot!”
• “I just have bad luck.”
• “People will only like you if you look your best.”
• “Your friends are eventually going to leave you.”
• “I can never get it right.”
• “I am a bad person.”
• “Things will never change.”

For the purposes of this blog, we will refer to this “voice” as the villain in our story. We face an enemy in our lives, an enemy that is relentless and devious. You see, when we hear the voice of our adversary, in a split second, we have a decision to make. Notice how beguiling this is! Are you going to agree with the negative statement or not? We so often end up agreeing with these slanderous assaults against our character and our heart, though we are totally unaware that we are doing so.

When we end up depressed, fearful of certain situations, or cynical about life, we are left wondering how we got there. Just like any myth, fairy tale, or movie, the villain in our story is relentless, yet surprisingly subtle in its efforts to prevent us from realizing who we really are.