Rethinking Relationship II

You teach people how to treat you. Treat yourself with respect and others will tend to do the same. If you devalue yourself, others will as well. If a person feels that he needs another person, it is probably a signal that he is not ready for a relationship. He most likely has some heart issues to deal with first.

The gods sent their messenger from Mount Olympus to talk sense into Calypso and get her to free the despairing Odysseus. We adult leaders will sometimes have to intervene in an unhealthy adolescent relationship. Remember that it is important to continually invest in your own relationships with students so that when the time comes to engage their story in a meaningful way, your advice and guidance will be taken to heart and not summarily dismissed.

Mythic Connections

You might find yourself in a position to specifically address this topic with young adults. If so, you may want to have the students read selections from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, the story of Calypso’s island from The Odyssey, or the Greek myth of Echo and Narcissus. Some video choices could include any of the film adaptations of Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story, Pretty in Pink, St. Elmo’s Fire, Can’t Buy Me Love, or The Odyssey.

Discussion Questions
• Which character in this story do you identify with most? Why?
• How were the relationships in this story destructive or unhealthy?
• What changes could have been made to improve the relationship?
• Did the characters in these stories truly love each other, or were they together for other reasons, such as fear of being alone, wanting popularity, and so forth?
• Have you ever been in a relationship that was like the relationships in this story? How was it similar?
• Are you in an unhealthy relationship now? If so, what are you going to do about it?

Rethinking Relationship

Be intentional about building relationships with students. The last thing a student wants is unsolicited advice or assistance from an adult who has never bothered to get to know them. Adult relationships typically evolve over a period of time and require quite a few conversations and shared experiences before there is a willingness to be vulnerable and open. Adolescents are somewhat different in this respect. It is possible to build fairly strong relationships in a relatively short period of time.

Get to know their hobbies, their interests, and the people with whom they spend time. Ask questions about their lives. Bring up a topic they enjoy discussing: themselves! Once they begin to trust you and understand that you are genuinely concerned about them as people, they will usually be willing to listen to advice you have to offer. It is easy to connect with students who are naturally outgoing and popular; challenge yourself by trying to engage those who are quiet, defensive, or intimidating. Those on the fringe desperately need you to be a part of their lives.